Love & Marriage – A Divine Engagement
The well loved notion in this area marriage and like is that they are synonymous, they are like engagement ring, that they spring from the same motives, and cover the same human needs. Like most well loved notions this also rests not on actual facts, but on superstition.
On the other hand, it is utterly fake that like results from marriage. On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple diminishing in like after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. Certainly the growing-used to each other is far away from the spontaneity, the intensity, and beauty of like, without which the intimacy of marriage must verify degrading to both the woman and the man.
Marriage and like have nothing in common; they are as far apart as the poles; are, in fact, aggressive to each other. No doubt some marriages have been the result of like. Not, but, since like may maybe assert itself only in marriage; much rather is it since few people can completely outgrow a convention. There are now large numbers of men and women to whom marriage is naught but a farce, but who submit to it for the sake of public opinion. At any rate, while it is right that some marriages are based on like, and while it is equally right that in some cases like continues in married life, I maintain that it does so regardless of marriage, and not since of it.
Marriage is primarily an economic agreement, an insurance pact. It differs from the ordinary life insurance agreement only in that it is more binding, more thorough. Its returns are insignificantly small compared with the investments. In taking out an insurance plot one pays for it in dollars and cents, always at liberty to discontinue payments. If, but, woman’s premium is a husband, she pays for it with her name, her privacy, her self-respect, her very life, “until death doth part.” Moreover, the marriage insurance condemns her to life-long dependency, to parasitism, to complete uselessness, individual as well as social. Man, too, pays his toll, but as his sphere is wider, marriage does not limit him as much as woman. He feels his chains more in an economic sense.
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